Friday, 4 October 2013

Solomangarephobia

I'm writing this post in the hind-sight of one of the least productive days I've had in a while. Some might argue, what about last weekend you spent in bed watching cheesy tv shows? I would reply that what doesn't require me to leave the premises of my warm bed is, for me, a very productive activity.

Today I found myself walking around Charing Cross trying to identify the Aldwych NatWest branch while coping with Google Maps and my internet connection which decided to abandon me right at that time. So after ending up at the Covent Garden NatWest (as directed by Google Maps) only to find out it wasn't the right one I decided to give up seeing as the Aldwych one was nowhere to be found and to head back home. However, ever since I've moved here I can't seem to manage to avoid being distracted by one thing or another. This time it was Covent Garden. I first thought about eating at the Shake Shack. It was 2pm and I hadn't eaten yet. But the line in front of it detracted me from doing so. So I wandered off thinking I should probably just go home. On my way to the underground I remembered a friend telling me that Bellushi's has really good food so I contemplated walking in and having a salad. But then I thought I wasn't that hungry and just left. After a couple more metres I changed my mind. I was hungry. So I thought I'd better walk into Kurt Geiger seeing as there was a big SALE announcement in the window and shopping is ultimately food for the soul. Of course, I should've known by now that Kurt Geiger is very bad for my health. But I'm an addict, what can I do? After mentally purchasing about 500 pounds worth of shoes I went ahead and walked into Michael Kors.. just to indulge in a dessert. Unfortunately (or fortunately) they didn't have the navy tote that I've been wanting for over a year. I did give my details so they could tell me when it was back in stock. That way I avoided the awkwardness of finding it and leaving the store empty handed because of my limited resources, after I'd asked the ladies to check at all their other stores and pretended to be really interested in it and buying it on the spot.

And here there should be an interlude because I don't really remember how I managed to end up in Leicester Square. As I was really feeling hungry by this time I decided I would go into Slug & Lettuce and have a burger. I did walk in, I did look at the menu and felt my stomach approve in hunger. But I just turned around and left. And that's when I realized what my problem was. It's solomangarephobia. I really hate eating alone. And while I don't have paranoid feelings that people are looking at me I do feel a lump in my stomach every time I have to dine alone. It wasn't really only the queue at the Shake Shack that put me off. It was the fear of eating alone, of being one of those people that take up a space meant for two. Although it's perfectly acceptable, especially for business travellers that find themselves in need of dining alone quite often, even though my rational self knows that there's nothing to be afraid or ashamed of, my senses and my reactions are completely contrary to it.

So tell me, have you guys experienced the same thing? Please tell me I'm not the only one.

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